"Sorry, you have the wrong number..."

This weekend I was waiting to get picked up to go to work, when my cellphone rings. I didn't recognize the number, so I was hesitant to pick it up, but I did. "Hello?" I say.
All I got on the other end was heavy breathing. "Hello?" I repeated.

Then, the voice says, "Fred? 'That you?" It was an older man and he sounded very upset. "No, I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number."

"Fred?"

"No," I said. "This isn't Fred, you have the wrong number."

The old man, obviously upset, does not give up. "Fred, I need your help...I need a boost...My car's dead..." He's sighing heavily, and out of breath.

"Sir, this is not Fred, nor does this phone belong to Fred. You have the wrong number," I said, getting irritated. At this point, I wasn't sure if someone was prank-calling me, or if this old man was actually in trouble. It's around 9 a.m. on a Saturday, and I didn't think that any of my friends would take the time to prank call me at that hour. It was really bugging me though. I was torn between  hanging up, or helping this person. I was trying not to laugh. This person simply wouldn't listen to what I had to say. Honestly, I don't even sound like a Fred.

What made it awkward is the fact that this person wouldn't acknowledge they were wrong, and would not hang up. I sat there on the phone, wondering when the appropriate time was to hang up. I didn't want to be rude...but I was getting a little mad, that he wasn't listening.

I ended up just saying, "Okay sir, I'm sorry, but this is not Fred. I have to go nowwwww....(slowly taking phone away from my ear... looking at it...and...click.)"

Awkward. Sorry pal, hope you got a hold of Fred.

By the way, I am a fan of the occasional prank phone call. Here's one done by Adam Sandler.

Speaking of awkward situations...

Introducing the iPad.


When I first saw the headlines for the new iPad, I knew that I would start seeing comedic interpretations. Couldn't they have chosen a better name? There are alreadys videos and mock-ads making fun of it. Look up MAD-TV's video of it, or just type in iPad and look what comes up.

Who is in charge of marketing? I love apple, but they dropped the ball on this one. Did they think ahead, to what people could turn this into? That my friends, is a corporate-awkward-situation.

Finding myself in awkward situations is common...and I'm sure that you've experienced the same kinds.

The world is a funny place isn't it? We worry about so many things; what to wear, how to act, how to talk, and how to react. However, we can't possibly plan for everything. Isn't that what makes it so interesting? This blog is my openly-honest reflection of the sweaty palms, rosy cheeks, butterflies-in-the-stomache and overall awkward situations that I have gotten into, AND ones that people I know have been in.

Throughout my stories, I'm sure that you will occasionally nod your head in agreement or utter a "tisk tisk" here and there, but overall I hope that you'll laugh! Afterall, I'm sure that you have been in a similar bind, and can relate to the overall feelings that come about. Let me begin...



On the Open Road

I find myself getting in this situation occasionally. I'm in a rush (like every other person in the world), and I'm in my car trying to get to where I have to go...on time. It seems like whenever you're running behind while driving, you get stuck behind all the wrong people.

What starts out as being one or two minutes behind, quickly turns into five or ten. I'll try to pass someone whenever I can, with caution, but sometimes I can't guarantee the latter when I'm in a rush. I find myself (mildly) yelling for people to move, like they can actually hear me and will float off the road. I'm still waiting for that to happen.

But then I get my opening. I'm able to pass someone in a Honda that's older than Trump's toupee, and I take the opportunity. However, in doing so, I have to admit, I cut him off. In a split second decision, his feelings were at the bottom of my priority list. So he swerves, and I do the little hand-in-the-air gesture that tries to come off as an "I'm sorry about that pal" wave. Needless to say, he gave me a different gesture.

No sooner have I passed "Angry Pete", I've landed myself first in line at a red light. Immediately regretting my previous action...hoping to the heavens that my dear friend does not end up in the lane beside me. But did I mention I have bad luck?

As the rattling Honda approaches, I immediately try to sink down in my seat, as much as humanly possible without looking like a hobbit. I'm looking at the cieling of my car, pretending to adjust the heat, wiping a smudge off my window, and pretty much doing everything I can to avoid looking at the guy beside me.

I knew he was looking. I knew he was not smiling. I knew he wanted to present his gesture at a closer range. If it wasn't for my tunes at a considerably high-level, I may have even heard him yelling "sweet nothings" over my way.

But, just like this situation started (with his terribly slow, bad driving), I got to take advantage of his D+ skills. While he was so focused on trying to express his heated-rage towards me, he failed to notice the light had turned green and I took off and once again, got in front of him before he could even touch the gas pedal.

Can you relate?

On a related note, check out just how BAD people are at driving. It's unfortunate that most of these drivers are women.