Saturday, February 13, 2010

Why me?

Who would have thought that these two items (olympic mittens and a motorized cart) would launch me into another awkward situation.
Well, it did.

I finally found the rare-to-find red olympic mittens, where the proceeds go towards athletes in the Vancouver 2010 olympics. Took me a while, but Zellers finally had some. The display was right as your walk in the door, kind of in the middle of the isle. As I said "Yay!"- in my head- I quickly walked over and started scoping them out.

I was trying them on, and looking for ones with the "best" stitch-work, walking around the carboard display. Crammed in between the isle, out of the corner of my eye, I notice a lady in a motorized cart approaching me. I tried to get out of the way... and she called out , "Uh, excuse me, miss?" I thought she was talking to me, and I did the quick turnaround to confirm, but she was talking to a woman that worked there. "Yes?" the employee said. "Could you help me? Do you know where the WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR ARE?" the lady on the cart said, in a rather loud voice.

Now, this woman, bless her soul, wasn't the most attractive in the world. She may have been about 60-70 years old. She must not have known it was innappropriate to shout that loudly. Regardless, the employee said she'd help the woman, and so she started to walk away in the right direction. Then the woman on the cart yelled out, "Wait! Wait! I've gotta turn this around a bit..." Her cart was in a diagonally position, not really straight down the aisle. So she started to back up. (Meanwhile, I'm still trying to find the right pair of mittens.)

Have you seen Austin Powers? The scene with the golf cart? Probably. Well, that's what proceeded to happen. Forward. Backward. Forward. Back-For-Back-Forward. Backward."Wait!" she yells again, even though the employee was still standing there waiting. All of a sudden, she kicks it into drive, hammers the gas and just completely smashes into the cardboard display of mittens that I'm trying to quietly pick through. "BAM!" Well, after I had a heart attack, I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed into my elbow-crease, as if I was coughing, and the woman says angrily, "This thing HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN!" That did me in. I quickly walked around to the other side of the display and looked at gloves there, so I could laugh in privacy.

I wasn't alone though, a man was on the other side, frantically digging through the popular, must-have MITTENS. He turns to me and says, "Hey, uhh, they don't have these in gloves, do they? Like, with fingers? Just these red mitts?"
I looked at him like he was stupid, because honestly, it was a stupid comment. Those mittens have been on TV since October, they've been seen everywhere on Canadians. "Uhh, no, just the red mittens," I said. Just then the lady must have straightened out her cart, because she shouted, "Okay! Now where are those underwear?"

It was just an awkward situation for me. You had to have been there. All I was thinking in my head while I was paying for the mitts was, "blog."
If you can't remember it, here's the scene from Austin Powers. Always a good laugh...


  1. I wonder if they make knitted red underwear with the little leaf on them? That would have solved all of the old ladies problems.

  2. Katie...your posts are SO FUNNY. Every time I read one I am literally laughing alone in my bedroom imagining the situation - how do you find yourself in these situations so often??

  3. Danielle, I have no idea. They find me. I was worried I would run out of ideas to write about when I started this, but it seems like something stupid happens to me on a daily basis!